Journey Starts Now — Take A Break #4–4th Guide Surviving Childhood Domestic Violence As an Adult
Life never waits, as if we have to catch up with that. In recent years it has become faster and faster, everything is faster. This life is better than another period of the human era, but we miss time to contemplate.
The thing is with so much with the hectic in everyday stuff you just can’t take a break. To be released from depression, anxiety, PTSD, and so on.
These things that burden you are not something that easily brushes off, look what happens if you try to get away with booze and drugs, you become an addict. So there is no solution there.
However art seems promising isn’t it, it will help you to articulate your suffering.
The Art Of Connecting
A lot of artists are driven by suffering, something that had been bugging them off, and a lot of people feel the same way, that’s why Linkin Park’s song was so popular back in the day and so do love songs sung by Adele and another pop artist.
For me I’m doing photography, I tried to express myself with it.
But then after doing photography for three years I understand that there is some emotion I cannot express, happiness and freedom especially.
I try to take more pictures, as often as I could, but it seems that I am incapable of doing that. This frustration make me quit Photography. Even today when I’m free of all this burden the passion for photography never really gets back.
I know I can double down on expressing my pain. It would be difficult. But for me it is not fun, It just makes me remember the stuff I wanted to forget.
So I choose not to.
Art That You Create Is Like Licking An Old Wound
There are differences you gain to create something from your pain. It will be something beautiful that is cherished by other people that feel the same kind of suffering.
Other people will enjoy your ability to make art, that works that matter is valuable to other people.
Whether you are an artist, musician, author, or comedian, you will create something beautiful that other people enjoy and even ease their burden.
However, you need to understand that your ability to make art does not equal healing your wound. It is a different path.
Then, how can you heal your wound if art is not the answer?
You Might Try Creative Expression It Will Ease Your Burden But Won’t Heal your Scar
Another alternative that will help channel all of your negative thought and emotion into a creative expression.
But remember this, it will ease your burden but won’t heal your scar.
I regret not writing my own experience faster, somehow the death of Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell stuck in my head. Both of them are just like me but with a worse kind of pain, a more painful scar that throbs all the time.
And so does Robin Williams, his death breaks my heart. A lot of my childhood bear the same pain, I understand how they felt back then, after all, we share similar suffering.
Take a Break
Well, I have to admit, I don’t know if this advice is true or not. I am ‘forced’ to take a break.
With all the depression and anxiety creeping back in, I am not happy. I was unable to express fun and joy with my photo, so I choose not to take photographs anymore.
However, I do know this, that somehow from that day I will search for a way to heal myself and I found that.
For me it is a long journey to see the true cause and what my sickness is. Then somehow figure it fast.
For you it might be different, you may understand what is happening to yourself but if it is not healed, especially after a long time, it will weigh you down and might lead to heavier depression.
For me, your mental sickness won’t easily brush off with treatment that you do on the side. After all, you that have sickness, that psychiatrist didn’t understand how your pain greatly affects your life.
With that said, I think you have to take another journey to ease your pain and heal it.
The Final Step
For me to reinvent myself, I need to detach from everything I hold dear.
To detach yourself from something that you know or even hold dearly can feel scary. However, it is a necessary step to reinvent yourself.
If you still anchor to the world you know it will be very difficult to see something new. How can you do that?
When I say in the previous story that whatever caused your pain, happens because you love it so much that it betrays you, for me, it is my mother. So how can we do that?
To love something less, you need to find others to love more. Then it will help you to detach from a previous worldview and perfect what you desire most.
To initiate the process of detachment you need to find something to love more, this is a journey you have to take on your own. I can give you the destination but I cannot show you the way.
Hope this will help you heal.
Read previous writing on this subject:
Part 1- Understanding Your Past Scar
Part 2 - The Actual Mental State You’re Livin
Part 3 — Taming The Rage Wihtin
More resource about PTSD: Fear conditioning and early life vulnerabilities: two distinct pathways of emotional dysregulation and brain dysfunction in PTSD
See you in the last writing of this series.
Author note: Hey guys, If you enjoy my writing please consider following me and your advice on my writing is valuable for me to create better writing. See you in the last series of Surviving Domestic Childhood Trauma As An Adult.
